Trust over Suffering
Feeling big feelings without suffering.
Is it possible?
Sure holding space is important
and
Being an activist right now is important.
Feeling every emotion for everyone right now is not important nor is it a worthy way to spend your energy.
There is a difference between suffering and pain...
Pain is a normal part of the lived experience for all animals, it happens in the body, it is a sensation. It is not bad it is challenging, it has information for us.
Suffering is more specific to humans it happens in the mind through our thoughts, re-triggering old suffering, worry, dread and fear for the future. Suffering takes you out of the present.
Suffering can play on repeat for many, suffering keeps you from being in the present and from grounding.
Suffering is in the unknown it says “we are not ok”
and this suffering has the ability to mold our future if we let it.
I see us all get stuck in its sticky traps day in and day out, especially us sensitives.
Much lower level energies feed off of our suffering, brain spinning and fear.
Suffering snowballs into even more suffering.
And it is very hard if not impossible to communicate effectively when in the state of suffering.
The sensitive feels more than most.
It’s only natural to be tempted to either numb that overwhelm or get lost in it.
But I have more options for you..
We can light a candle and we can meditate or pray.
We can learn to live in a way that doesn’t bring our whole being down.
This is so vital to us being here right now.
A world without sensitives is not a world that I would ever want to be in.
There are more of us here now than ever before.
When we thrive we are a force to be reckoned with. So how can we thrive?
We can’t always feel joy but we CAN trust.
One of my mantras over the last ten years has been “trust this process”.
It’s kept me alive, it’s helped me in ways I never thought possible.
We are always learning because the lessons are there,
if we choose to see them.
Many don’t want to see them, but now we are being forced to.
The internal naturally becomes the external.
That’s how our mental state effects the world around us.
Joy follows joy. And joy begins with trust.
So here are some trust tools:
1.) Recognize your triggers and get your brain away(quick)
When you want to read something that might trigger you, don’t.
You can have pain but no one deserves to suffer.
When you feel those suffering thoughts coming in on repeat and you are so tempted to look at whatever it is, don’t!
Don’t waste your health.
We know that watching stressful movies can alter your body chemistry and bring you to a state of fight or flight.
Your thoughts, the quality of your conversations and the things you read, the news you listen to are no different.
The healing happens when you decide not to go there anymore.
When instead you fill your own movie theater with the things you want to see, not the things you feel like you should make yourself see.
*Now of course there is big work to do and there are times to look at it to heal it or to end someone else’s suffering but this can only come when your boundaries and your brain is strong enough to not let yourself get stuck there.
It’s always going to be there, always.
2.) Look for the good things and the good people.
It’s always going to be there, always. The good and the good in those around you. It’s our job to focus on the good and not the bad. Grow from the feelings of the good not growing from the fear of the bad.
A wise man once said of his mother:
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me,
“Look for the helpers.
You will always find people who are helping.”
Mr. Rodgers
3.) Keep Suffering at an arms distance, don’t bring it in.
When you are a big feeler the temptation is there to think that one must feel everything for everyone, that you are selfish if you don’t. That this is your responsibility and I’m telling you it’s not.
This illusion is what keeps you from feeling sane.
If you are not taking good care of yourself, you have no right to try to take care of others.
The kids need you, the world needs you. To be a potent version of yourself you must try to stay in your center.
4.) Make time to laugh and cry..release release
How and when do we let go of suffering?
When do we create more space for trust and joy.
We release when we laugh, when we cry, when we get out in nature.
When we allow ourselves the time and space to do so.
When we practice some self-love, invest in our healing and growth.
5. Make a plan for joy!
Trips, dates, fun times these are what make you feel alive. These are what remind you what life is worth living for.
Music lives here!
Road trips and flowers live here, berry picking and dinner parties live here.
Invite people over, set up a time to see a friend, go out on a date with someone you love.
Life is short.
That’s what Buddha meant by “Life is suffering”
“Impermanence therefore suffering”.
Everything is impermanent and changeable.
The Buddha says that life is suffering because it is impermanent and ever-changing.
My work is in healing, helping you see your own potential, get more success in life.
I work with individuals through distance work or in Eugene or Portland.
I am here to help you shine.
You can schedule your distance or in-person session with me.
Or book a free call to see if you want to work with me.
All my best,